What you need to mentors in your life that you can go to directly and ask them.  Most people tend to have a social contract that keeps them from offering constructive criticism.  What you need to do to find someone that you trust, who has a level of accomplishments, and ask them to mentor you.  Then run things past them as you work in ministry and leadership. 

The answer to moving on is a difficult one.  Sometime we try to hang on to things that God is telling us to let go; and other times we quit too soon when God is taking us through to develop us.

The key is to remove yourself out of the equation.  Make sure you are not making an emotion decision.  The bible says, “In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path.”  Sometimes when we are tired of a thing, our emotions cause us to direct our own path. 

The answer is to 1) Be Patient, 2) Be Prayerful, and 3) Seek Spiritual Counsel.  The bible says there is safety in counsel!

I would suggest that you get spiritual counseling.  I can understand if staying with the parents was your only solution because of financial reasons; but when a man marries a woman, they should forsake all others and become one flesh.  If this is a situation where he feels more obligated to his mom than he does his wife, then you all need marital couseling.

Thanks for sharing!  The First Lady and I address this issue in our books “No More Drama Relationships” and “The Relationship Battle Plan”.  Not cleaning up may be a problem by your husband, but the bigger problem right now is the fact that you have become a victim of his failures. 

We cannot change people, and according to the bible they will fail us.  But when we allow their failures to get the best of us, we become victims.  But there is good news; we can choose to be victors over their failures.  Paul said, “I’ve learned how to be content in whatever state I’m in”.  He went on to say, “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me”.  

When people fail us, we have to stop turning to them and start turning to God!  He is the only one that will never fail us, and who will always be there for us.  So while we are dealing with the failures of others, we go to God and allow him to give us peace! 

Going to heaven is not based on what was done to you or even for you, it is solely based on what you do.  When one accepts Christ as their Lord and Savior, then they become a child of God and go to heaven regardless of what happends to them.  And of couse the opposite is true if they have not accepted Christ!

Romans 10:9 (AV)⁹ That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

2 Corinthians 5:8 (AV)⁸ We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

I’m not familiar with that passage; however, I’ve copied a few below that I am familiar with.

Ephesians 5:15 (AV)¹⁵ See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

1 Corinthians 3:18 (AV)¹⁸ Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

Psalm 53:1 (AV)¹ The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV)³³ Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

It doesn’t matter if the communications is coming face to face, over cell phones, emails, texts, twitter, or facebook; if it’s inappropriate, it should be avoided.  A lot of relationships have been destroyed by these types of relationships ourside of the marriage that start through communications.  Here’s a rule to follow; if you can’t have the conversation in the presence of your spouse, then you probably shouldn’t be having it!

First of all, when it comes to work, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to feed my family; whether I like it or not.  But I understand your desire to do what you feel that you have been called to do.

So then the question becomes can I do what I’ve been called to do, or enjoy doing which is working in the music industry, possibily with secular music.  Now the bible says, ”Romans 14:16 (AV)¹⁶ Let not then your good be evil spoken of: “  Simply put, even if somethings may not be a sin, it may be something that is not good for a Christian to do because our primary responsibility is not to seek what we desire, but to seek the Kingdom of Heaven and allow God to fulfil our desires.

There are a lot of church singers who are now singing secular music, and they justify it by saying that God can use them to minister to the world.  But I believe that this is a compromise, and that if God wants us to do something, we don’t have to compromise to the ways of the world in order to get it done.  Just like I don’t believe that Preachers should compromise the Gospel in order to get more people to come to church, I don’t think we should compromise our talents in the work place to do something we desire. 

I want you to get and read a book I’m teaching called “Take Your Soul To Work” by R. Paul Stevens.  I think it will really help you as you are seeking God about your next move.

To me, being called to preach is like being called to salvation; meaning that you don’t wait to get yourself together, you come as you are and allow the word and the Holy Spirit to get you together.  If you wait on getting yourself together, you will never make it, because we can’t get ourselves together; it takes God’s word and his Spirit.

Now as it relates to preaching, I tell all of the Ministers in Training at our Church that the Lord calls them, but it is my responsibility to prepare them.  So I won’t release them to preach their initial sermon until I feel that they are prepared.  If you feel that you are called to preach, let your Pastor know so that he can begin the process of preparing you to be sent!

Thanks for your support! Keep us in your prayers!